Life Cycle of a Desi migrant. Australian Born Confused Desi

WARNING! Any reference to any being might be thoroughly and absolutely intentional.

Recently, I heard that a person (whom i had never met) told one of my friends that he would not go back to Pakistan because he is scared that he might get diseases, mosquito bites etc., I said, excuse me! That guy came to the Australia just 7 yrs ago and he has already become super sensitive to diseases and mosquito. What crap is that ? This is insulting himself!!

From my understanding, a desi wants to settle abroad for ONE reason. LAZINESS. Most of the people get used to the laid back way of life :) weekends, long weekends and sabbatical. :)) Almost 90% of desi developers would agree that the job they do can be done by anyone who has completed decent education levels (say +2). You don't need BE/MCA/MS to build the crappy software.

Interestingly I could see 3 phases in any desi's life (whether they live in US/UK/Europe/Australia) For convenience and clarity I m using Australia.

Phase - I - Symptoms

Landing in Australia.,

1. Becomes very homesick, calls home twice a day (Consistent source of income for telecommunication companies).
2. Run around for desi food.
3. Thinks all the females are chicks as shown in english movies.. gets the first hand experience of macho people.
4. Asks for bus routes.
5. Can be located in malls with popped up eyes.
6. Looks for 'S' sized T shirt in the boy's section.
7. Looks at all the cool cars as if he could swallow with eyes.
8. Converts every spending dollar into rupees.
9. Roams every bit of Safeway/albertson/longs.
10. Tries to cook at home.

Phase - II - Symptoms

Settles in a bit.

1. Has multiple calling cards and knows which one to use, factoring time and day :) By this time calling home frequency dries down, may be weekly once/twice.
2. Have a real white nike/adidas hike shoes.
3. Discusses with friends about the car to buy. (Everybody in the office will know that our man is trying to buy a car).
4. Settle for a Civic / corolla, since they are best desi cars.
5. Buys a costlier card.
6. Starts to compare Pakistan-Aus for every petty thing
7. Crib about the cashiers in stores, compare them with Pakistani petty store owners.. how quick they were in counting chillers.
8. Every month, checks the balance and equate it to what it can buy in Pakistan.
9. Look for exotic locations with in city/ (you know wot i mean rite?).
10. Starts asking for 'Bud'.
11. Starts searching for a bride from Pakistan and gets married.
12. Scans every weekly supplement sale and garage sales in and out.

Phase - III - Symptoms

Real confusion begins here..

1. Drops all the calling cards, stick to a phone line. Says line has better clarity.
2. Thinks about getting a bigger/powerful car
3. Starts spending weekends mostly at home and Frequently visits jacuzzi
4. Pastes the country's flag on car
5. Wonders whether he should apply for a permanent residency.?
6. Asks the guys whether he would get a job if he goes to Pakistan ;) (Welcome to reality dude)
7. Tries to affiliate himself to the local groups (Non desi groups, to be specific)
8. Watching Indian movies/wearing Pakistani dress becomes a fashion statement
9. Suddenly, opportunity becomes oppor-tune-ity! Pakistan becomes Pachistan!! often becomes of-ten !!!
10. Tries to talk in mother tongue with kids.. gets shocked when they refuse!
11. Thinks about going back to Pakistan.. always., in fact it becomes a thread in the mind that runs in the background!!

Do you have your own desi observations ;) ??

PS: I received the above article in an email and after certain modifications, I have posted it on my blog. I absolutely give all credits to the original author of the humorous and hilarious article. Please let me know, if you know who authored the article.