WARNING! Any reference to any being might be thoroughly and absolutely intentional.
Recently, I heard that a person (whom i had never met) told one of my friends that he would not go back to Pakistan because he is scared that he might get diseases, mosquito bites etc., I said, excuse me! That guy came to the Australia just 7 yrs ago and he has already become super sensitive to diseases and mosquito. What crap is that ? This is insulting himself!!
From my understanding, a desi wants to settle abroad for ONE reason. LAZINESS. Most of the people get used to the laid back way of life :) weekends, long weekends and sabbatical. :)) Almost 90% of desi developers would agree that the job they do can be done by anyone who has completed decent education levels (say +2). You don't need BE/MCA/MS to build the crappy software.
Interestingly I could see 3 phases in any desi's life (whether they live in US/UK/Europe/Australia) For convenience and clarity I m using Australia.
Phase - I - Symptoms
Landing in Australia.,
Landing in Australia.,
- Becomes very homesick, calls home twice a day (Consistent source of income for telecommunication companies).
- Run around for desi food.
- Thinks all the females are chicks as shown in english movies.. gets the first hand experience of macho people.
- Asks for bus routes.
- Can be located in malls with popped up eyes.
- Looks for 'S' sized T shirt in the boy's section.
- Looks at all the cool cars as if he could swallow with eyes.
- Converts every spending dollar into rupees.
- Roams every bit of Safeway/albertson/longs.
- Tries to cook at home.
Phase - II - Symptoms
Settles in a bit.
- Has multiple calling cards and knows which one to use, factoring time and day :) By this time calling home frequency dries down, may be weekly once/twice.
- Have a real white nike/adidas hike shoes.
- Discusses with friends about the car to buy. (Everybody in the office will know that our man is trying to buy a car).
- Settle for a Civic / corolla, since they are best desi cars.
- Buys a costlier card.
- Starts to compare Pakistan-Aus for every petty thing
- Crib about the cashiers in stores, compare them with Pakistani petty store owners.. how quick they were in counting chillers.
- Every month, checks the balance and equate it to what it can buy in Pakistan.
- Look for exotic locations with in city/ (you know wot i mean rite?).
- Starts asking for 'Bud'.
- Starts searching for a bride from Pakistan and gets married.
- Scans every weekly supplement sale and garage sales in and out.
Phase - III - Symptoms
Real confusion begins here..
- Drops all the calling cards, stick to a phone line. Says line has better clarity.
- Thinks about getting a bigger/powerful car
- Starts spending weekends mostly at home and Frequently visits jacuzzi
- Pastes the country's flag on car
- Wonders whether he should apply for a permanent residency.?
- Asks the guys whether he would get a job if he goes to Pakistan ;) (Welcome to reality dude)
- Tries to affiliate himself to the local groups (Non desi groups, to be specific)
- Watching Indian movies/wearing Pakistani dress becomes a fashion statement
- Suddenly, opportunity becomes oppor-tune-ity! Pakistan becomes Pachistan!! often becomes of-ten !!!
- Tries to talk in mother tongue with kids.. gets shocked when they refuse!
- Thinks about going back to Pakistan.. always., in fact it becomes a thread in the mind that runs in the background!!
Do you have your own desi observations ;) ??
PS: I received the above article in an email and after certain modifications, I have posted it on my blog. I absolutely give all credits to the original author of the humorous and hilarious article. Please let me know, if you know who authored the article.
